Breaking the News That a Loved One is Going on Hospice Care

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Author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack

When the paperwork was finally signed to get hospice care for my dad, I was grateful. There would now be a routine of care for him where he could live in comfort. That's all he really wanted. However, I knew that breaking this news to Mom would be difficult. She'd have to finally admit, and somehow accept, the fact that Dad was dying. After all, hospice care is for people diagnosed as terminally ill.



A brief time after Dad's death, Mom's own terminal condition required hospice care in order to control her pain. She had told me numerous times that she was tired of living and ready to "go." Yet, I believe it still was hard for her to accept that she needed hospice care and what that meant.


Our culture has historically been devoted to cure illness at all costs, and death is often looked at as "failure," no matter the age or condition of the person being treated. Many other cultures readily accept death as part of the life cycle. I believe we, as a culture, are making progress in this direction, but death still tends to be a word people avoid. If it's up to you to inform a loved one that he or she would be more comfortable under hospice care – or that a person they love will be on hospice care – there are steps you can take to get you through this difficult transition.


•If possible, make sure the whole family is on board and understands that hospice care is palliative (comfort) care. Hospice care is not meant to cure the incurable. To be eligible for hospice care, a doctor must already have stated that the person is terminally ill with a life expectancy of six months or less.


•Understand that hospice is simply care that helps a dying person live his or her last months as pain free as possible, and when possible, in a way that is meaningful to them. You and a hospice chaplain or other support person can explain to the ill person what hospice service provides. Hospice is not a "death sentence." A person's health can sometimes improve under hospice care. In that case, they go off the program.


•Hospice chaplains are trained in helping people through transitions. Let them guide you. Sometimes it's better for family members to take a backseat to hospice professionals when it comes to giving news of this sort, since the professionals have experience helping people understand this transition.


•Hospice staff members and volunteers don't dance around the term "death." They are there to deliver comfort care, and also help the person live their life until they die. Part of living the last months or weeks of life well is to understand and accept that one is dying. A dignified and meaningful death is the goal.


•Know that theory and reality can be different. Both of my parents wholeheartedly believed in hospice and the hospice mission. However, accepting and even championing an idea as opposed to having it apply personally can be quite different. Give the person who is going on a hospice care program time to grieve and accept the terminal diagnosis.


•Or – expect yourself to struggle with this concept, but note that your ill loved one may be relieved that he or she no longer needs to undergo unpleasant or painful treatments to no avail.


•People don't always respond in expected ways to the reality that they are dying. I've known people who've talked about "being with God" for years, yet when faced with their own impending death, they wanted to fight death all the way. That is their right. I've known others who seemed afraid of death throughout their lives only to experience a complete turnaround, facing impending death with faith and serenity.


•Every day won't be the same. Some days a person may accept or even seem to look forward to leaving a wrecked body behind, yet on another day, this same person could sink back into the grieving process. Be with them wherever they are.


•You and the hospice team are there to support the ill person in any way possible. Hospice care helps you share your loved one's last journey.


Hospice organizations understand that the life cycle includes death. The staff and volunteers believe in a dignified, pain free death for everyone, and they do all that is in their power to provide this kind of comfort care. Breaking the news that a loved one is on hospice care may be the hardest part of the experience.

After that concept is accepted, you can concentrate on supporting your loved one all the way through to the end. Work closely with the hospice team to understand every measure taken. Grieve with your loved one when grief is evident. Celebrate the person's memories with them. Respond to requests whenever possible, to increase mental, physical and emotional wellbeing for your loved one. Adjust your attitude to mesh with the hospice mission to help your loved one live well until he or she dies.

Study: Hospice helps those with dementia

Here is a great dementia resource for caregivers and healthcare professinals,

Here is information on being the best caregiver you can be

Here is a way for nurses administrators, social workers and other health care professionals to get an easyceu or two

OzarksFirst.com

(Providence, RI) -- A newly-released survey indicates hospice care is significantly improving life for patients with dementia and their families.

Brown University gerontologist Dr. Joan Teno says people responding to the survey noted enhanced care and a perception that the quality of dying was also improved.

The report notes family members were 51-percent less likely to report unmet needs and concerns with the care received.

They also note the peacefulness and quality of dying was more positive than families whose loved ones did not receive hospice care.

The study appears in the "Journal of the American Geriatrics Society."

What You Need to Know About Long Term Care

Here is a great dementia resource for caregivers and healthcare professinals,

Here is information on being the best caregiver you can be

Here is a way for nurses administrators, social workers and other health care professionals to get an easyceu or two

Here are more interesting dementia brain boosting activities



AC Content

Long-term health care involves different services that include both medical and non-medical assistance to those who have chronic illnesses or disabilities. Long-term health care helps a disabled person to meet his
personal and health needs. Most long-term health care provides support services that assist people with daily living needs. People usually need long-term health care as they age, but people of any age can need long-term health care.

According Medicare.gov, by 2020, 12 million older Americans will need long-term health care. Family members may be able to help with some of the needs of a disabled loved one, but some care--such as nursing care or therapy--must be given by licensed health care workers.

Many people will need long term health care at sometime during their lives. Planning for it is important so you can decide which facility you would like to live at and prepare you and your family for the transition. Discussing your long-term health care wishes in advance will help you and your family if the time comes when you can no longer take care of yourself.

You can get long-term health care in your own home as long as caregivers or loved ones can manage your needs safely. Care can be given by paid professionals, volunteers, family members or friends, or a combination of several of these groups This type of care can include help with housework, shopping, cooking, daily care needs, nursing care or several of these services. Hospice care is available for those with a terminal illness. People being cared for in-home can participate in community care programs including adult daycare, meal delivery programs, or senior center activities.

If you cannot stay in your home if you become disabled, there are ....read all of What You Need to Know About Long Term Care

Letting Go: When Your Loved One Has Advanced Dementia

Here is a great dementia resource for caregivers and healthcare professinals,

Here is information on being the best caregiver you can be

Here is a way for nurses administrators, social workers and other health care professionals to get an easyceu or two

Here are more interesting dementia brain boosting activities



AC Content

In the last stage of Alzheimer's disease, people lose the ability to react to their surroundings, the power to speak and, at the very end the ability to move. Often those affected are unable to understand the
AdChoices

meaning of words and the ability to speak except for occasional words that make no sense.

These folks need assistance with eating and may not have the ability to recognize or swallow food.

They cannot control their bowels or bladder

People with advanced Alzheimer's disease lose the ability to sit without support. They cannot smile or hold up their head. Their reflexes become abnormal and their muscles grow stiff.They may be in pain but cannot express it.

Hopefully you are not reading this when your loved one is the final stage of Alzheimer's disease. There are many things you can do to prepare for the time to stop treatment.

When your loved one still has the capacity to make his wishes know make sure he picks the person to make health care decisions when he can't .In other words execute a health care proxy.

Second be certain he makes known the kind of medical treatment he wants or does not want

Third get all finances in order .seeking financial and legal advice while your loved one is able to participate in the process. Doing these things makes everything easier.

If you are choosing to care for the person at home, understand that ...read all of Letting Go: When Your Loved One Has Advanced Dementia